13 contestants.
1/13 chance.
How lucky will I be?!
Usually not me.
But I really wana go! With him I hope. Please.
We shall wait for monday.


Look.
I dream. I dream. I dream.
I wish. I wish. I wish.
I wana go.














Initially I was all excited to blog about something good.
Then just now I had to receive a call from Teacher Cindy.
Don't know its a good call or bad one.
She made me realized some things. Which is not good.
So. The bad news covered my enthusiasim for the good news.
Well, imbalanced mood. Nothing for now.


Utterly extremely sad. What other word can I use instead of sad? I'm feeling more than the meaning of sad by thousands millions times.
I'm officially out of aps. Jobless. So where will my money come from? My expenses? My fees? I want to knock my head against the wall. I'm going to be soooooooooooo poor from now on.
Another thing thats also affecting me greatly. I miss my students. Esp Nikolas, Gabriel, Toby and Glenn. I cried for a moment. They are very dear to me, I hate to leave them.
I really love this job a lot. Thats why I've been holding on to it till now, 3 years. From the weekly long trainings under the sun, enduring the hot and cold weather, from the $7/hr pay to what I have now. Its a long journey, but I enjoy every moment. I love this job more than anything else in the world you know.
Now I have nothing. I feel like half of me is gone. Its a painful and heart piercing decision. Can anyone understand how I'm feeling now? The pain? The misery?
*sobbing in my heart*


Bro sent me a sms today, from taiwan. He told me that the place sucks, did not manage to get enough sleep, and the officers there did not give proper instructions so everyone was at a loss.
The officers should go for training la!!
Omg. Seems like its going to be a tough time there. I hope he can adapt to it soon, and situations will improve as time go by. After what he told me, I'll keep thinking how is he getting on there. Was he injured during the training? Did he eat and slp well? Sigh.
Hopefully they are unnecessary worries. Hope to hear some good news from him. Only 1 day had passed.


I did 2 things. Went to tan tock seng for scan. Must share with you.
It was the longest scan haha. When I came out, everyone had left. Mum was so worried she thought what had happened to me inside. She thought I had a painful experience.
In actual fact, I'm having a 'lesson' inside! Haha.
The lady who did the scan for me, think was still on-the-job training. So..she could not locate the organs accurately.
Then she asked for the doctor. I thought it was a practice to have the doc after the session. Yuan lai..she asked the doc to look at the photos she taken only! And she added, 'Don't have so much confidence in me hor'. I was like, so she also not very sure what she is taking!
And so the doc put that roller on me again, showed her this was the blah blah, there was the blah blah. 'You see the nerve? This is the............' That was how I spent an hour inside.
So many many things. The medical terms are so chim! How can the doctors, or anyone, be able to remember everything! I really really admire them man.
What I saw on the computer are all dark images. Mere shadows. How did they know thats the liver? Thats the particular nerve? Thats the gall bladder? Thats the kidney? Really amazing! I also wana learn haha. This profession is cool. P/s: I saw my kidney! Haha =p
Ok the second thing.
I went to square2. Have anyone went to that place yet? I only heard about it until I chanced upon it today, at novena. Must eat the waffle there!!!!!! Fantastic. There are a lot of boutiques and shoes shops, and the clothes are not bad. But I would say it's only nice to shop on the 1st visit. If go the 2nd time, nothing fantastic already.



Wah a post specially on him. He should feel proud haha.
Time now is 0053. He's at the airport. Leaving for taiwan in a few minutes.
For a month. I'm gona miss him.
Our last outing..wasn't a perfect one but at least I quite enjoy the time with him ba.
We went to watch Just Follow Law. The movie wasn't as great as I expected.
We ate marche. My first time! Glad I had it with him hehe.
Then we took cab home. Throughout the journey no talking. It was weird.
Sometimes I think did we watch movie just to pass time? Or to enjoy each other company? For me is definitely the latter. But for him, seem to me is the former.
I don't like it when I feel the emptiness when I am with him. I want both of us to enjoy every moment.
Well, I had told myself not to think so much. I am trying to do that and I already saw my first step just now. I believe I can do it. I want to do it.


Yea yea! Some things to rejoice about.
I guess I need to inform friends who are concern about me, how I am getting on. I'm feeling better le, though I still feel the discomfort every now and then. Thanks for the concern everyone. Hopefully I can regain my normal lifestyle in april. I miss my dance!!!
I have sort out my thoughts. Been thinking today. I know what I should do le. I guess no more asking those questions with no answers. I shall........


Only a few days but seems like I have a lot to blog about. Today entry gona be so random. Pardon for the disorganization orh.

1 Last day of work
Boss just informed me about it. I thought I could finish till tomorrow (betta than halfway through the week right). Well, might as well. I feel more relaxed now.

2 Childrens' talk
Here it goes:
Aunty calling a 4 year old girl: "ah ma!"
Chloe: "I am not ah ma!"
Aunty: "aunty!"
Chloe: "I am not aunty!"
Aunty: "Then who are you?"
Chloe: "I am mei nu! mei nu!"
LOL. I thought it was cute.

Chloe and Laven were bickering a while ago, the next moment they were sitted together for some activity.
Chloe: "Eh laven, just now we not itch ar-der friends but now we are itch ar-der friends".
That's children for you. =)

3 Ray had a gf
Haha what a heading. As if it concerns me. But I had some questions inside me un-answered. Somehow, I feel a mild disturbance. Nevertheless, I wish him happiness.

4 Irwin is so sweet
He is my greatest bro. One who love me too. He remembers me before he go to taiwan. He informed me, wanted to get things for me. I'm touched. He'll always be my beloved little bro, one who is always like a child in my heart haha.

4 Wei da de wei guo
Dramas always show people who always bicker often end up together. He and me bicker most of the time (no, we will never end up together, right boy?). Somehow like eight characters clash. But I must say he cares about me alot. Midst of those nonsense he said. He gave his birthday wish for me. Haha appreciated la. Wg: Touched to see I mention you mah haha.

5 We contacted
I made the first move. (again). Ya. But I still don't know what's he thinking. Jess asked me to ask. But I got no more courage left. I scared I'll be detestable. I scared I'll scare him again. Scared of many things. Can he teach me what to do? Or maybe he could do what he ought to do? That would be great.

Hmm I think I still might have more things to add. But I can't remember them now. Come back for more updates ba!
P/s: I think I used a lot of 'Buts' in this entry. Alamak! This is bad.


Hmm did not blog for some days. Because I was so tired. I told dad I need to eat energizer for my meals.
Today, was special. Just as I need to go sleep, I need to blog it down.
Surprised guests.
Wei guo, Kaijun and huifen.
They came, though I told them not to. I was surprised by their appearance at my house downstairs, and touched by their sincerity. Jun and fen were my jc close-est friends, though long time did not contact, though they did not say anything much, today they made me feel that they were my most truthful friends.
Wei guo, though full of nonsense, I saw his concern in his own way. Blah blah blah, he talked the whole night.
Ok this is the first group of friends.
Jm also told me she want to come over with delia and gf. All with kind intentions. Thanks so much, especially to jm, who have been supporting me all this while. I really appreciate her.
Teacher Cindy will be coming on wednesday too. I was suddenly filled with love from friends around me, who really cared for me.
Appreciation. Thankfulness. Everything. I love you, friends.

Her

Altimate moodswing cum stubborn ger
Age: Turning old
Love my parents.
Love children.
Love swimming.
Love to teach.
Love dancing.
Pessimistic.
Escape-ist.

My recipe

How to make a winnie

Ingredients: 5 parts jealousy 3 parts crazyiness 1 part empathy

Method: Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Serve with a slice of lustfulness and a pinch of salt. Yum!