Today is the 5th day I'm sick.

Yesterday was the worst. I sobbed like crazy. Cos I was so sick.
Fever still at 39.5. Then I had this terrible horrible headache that I never had and I guess you would never have experienced. Its like a time bomb, and I wished it would explode so I would feel better. Its so painful until I cant even open my eyes, cant eat, can only cry.
Then at night, its so strange. My whole body suddenly feel numb, can feel the limbs no energy, its so horrible, and i just let it shiver to ease the strange feeling.

Today, head still heavy, still alittle dizzy, nose still terribly block, still bad cough.

Fen still had not ask abt me till now. I tot of another scenario: She doesnt even see the need to ask? Omg. Nvm. I think she tot I'm ok liao.


Ok this entry is about love and hate.
And it has to be my 100th post. Sway or wat.

Today is the 3rd day I am sick. Yesterday fever reached a high 40 at nite. Mum had to stay by my side to help me change the ice towel on my forehead very min. I closed my eyes, having no feeling at all, i think i'll have gone anytime. Haha.

This morning still at 39.5. Then began to sweat at noon. Even the sweating is a tough process. I can feel the sweat forcing its way out, and i was feeling naseuous and dizzy.

Now, left with cough, a terrible sore throat and a blocked nose. :s

Ok its not hate, but i can't another word to replace it. Ppl say the more you expect, the more disappointed you'll get. Ok maybe I expected (fen to msg me today to ask me am I better), but she didn't. And so I am disappointed. I am finding alot of excuses, maybe she's busy; maybe she has reports to do. But I can't accept these. If you really care abt this friend, i guess you'll just take a few moments to care. Journey to and fro work and hm? Lunch time? The worst scenario is she forgot. And just now she was online, and just offline w/o saying anything.

If it was during my poly days, and the friends saw this, they'll definitely pick up a quarrel again. Say I can't expect so many things from friends blah blah. But i guess fen is different. She's my only best and close friend, like she has become part of my life. And now she doesnt care. Maybe again, she'll msg tmr. But i duno if i still feel the care by then.

Bf. It was expectation again. In the beginning. Of course I realised I'm always expecting things from ppl. Its gd I know my faults right. (But fen issue I just cant let it go). And so, I'm slowing letting go of him. Its just impossible. May he be erase from my mind soon.

P/s: Tears are swelling up in my eyes as I re-read the post.


At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After
extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question: 'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?'The audience was stilled by the query.The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'

Then he told the following story:Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.

Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first! Run to first!' Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!' Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.

By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball ... the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head. Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'!

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third! Shay, run to third!' As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!' Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.

'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day.

Her

Altimate moodswing cum stubborn ger
Age: Turning old
Love my parents.
Love children.
Love swimming.
Love to teach.
Love dancing.
Pessimistic.
Escape-ist.

My recipe

How to make a winnie

Ingredients: 5 parts jealousy 3 parts crazyiness 1 part empathy

Method: Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Serve with a slice of lustfulness and a pinch of salt. Yum!