Monday, April 14, 2008
Ok this entry is about love and hate.
And it has to be my 100th post.
Sway or wat.
Today is the 3rd day I am sick. Yesterday fever reached a high 40 at nite. Mum had to stay by my side to help me change the ice towel on my forehead very min. I closed my eyes, having no feeling at all, i think i'll have gone anytime. Haha.
This morning still at 39.5. Then began to sweat at noon. Even the sweating is a tough process. I can feel the sweat forcing its way out, and i was feeling naseuous and dizzy.
Now, left with cough, a terrible sore throat and a blocked nose. :s
Ok its not hate, but i can't another word to replace it. Ppl say the more you expect, the more disappointed you'll get. Ok maybe I expected (fen to msg me today to ask me am I better), but she didn't. And so I am disappointed. I am finding alot of excuses, maybe she's busy; maybe she has reports to do. But I can't accept these. If you really care abt this friend, i guess you'll just take a few moments to care. Journey to and fro work and hm? Lunch time? The worst scenario is
she forgot.
And just now she was online, and just offline w/o saying anything.If it was during my poly days, and the friends saw this, they'll definitely pick up a quarrel again. Say I can't expect so many things from friends blah blah. But i guess fen is different. She's my only best and close friend, like she has become part of my life. And now she doesnt care.
Maybe again, she'll msg tmr. But i duno if i still feel the care by then.
Bf. It was expectation again. In the beginning. Of course I realised I'm always expecting things from ppl. Its gd I know my faults right. (But fen issue I just cant let it go). And so, I'm slowing letting go of him. Its just impossible. May he be erase from my mind soon.
P/s: Tears are swelling up in my eyes as I re-read the post.
;11:28 PM
